Friendships

What do friends mean to you?

My friendships are so important to me. Even more so since observing my mother following my dad's death with no outside support from friends. All she has is Don & me and our family and she relies more and more on this relationship. Her situation make me even more determined to cherish and keep strong the friendships that I enjoy presently.

What makes a friendship?

What draws us to particular people and not to others?

In the past year I met a woman who I felt an instant connection with. We recently spent some time together and after 3-4 hours of non-stop talking, it felt as if I had known her forever.

I have spent the last couple of days trying to analyze why I felt this instant connection and yet with other relationships I find that I cannot go deep. Time spent together produces those uncomfortable moments or lapses in the conversation. Do emotions play a role here ~ are there resentments ~ jealousy ~ bitterness that resides so deeply they can't be identified yet somehow they put up a wall that is so difficult to get over?

Edited to add:

Today I spent some time with another friend. We chatted about my thoughts and she offered some interesting insight on how she and I were both raised in a very judgemental, critical atmosphere. Could the fear of criticism or judgement be what holds me back in these relationships? Hmmmmm, I wonder ......

Is the deep connection that is felt instantly when we meet a kindred soul something as basic as a commonality with our likes & dislikes ~ or something deeper such as our moral structure.

In our familial relationships what makes some work and others not? My thoughts stray to my relationship with my mother. I love her, but do not consider her a friend, yet my daughter is a cherished friend to me.

A dear friend who lives hundreds of miles away from me is one of those connections. We have known each other for over 20 years. We share the odd email and occasional phone call. Six or seven years ago I went to visit her. Our conversation started when I arrived and didn't stop until I left. It was like we had never been apart. How can that be when we don't constantly refresh that friendship on a regular basis? The connection just remains constant.

This new friendship in my life has really made me think deeply about why some relationships work so well and so comfortably while others although the love is there present those uncomfortable moments where participating in meaningful conversation is almost painful.

I believe everything in life happens for a reason and I know this new friendship has arrived in my life for a reason ~ it is up to me to determine what that reason is.

My cherished friends and I go very deep in our conversations, sharing everything, supporting, loving each other and giving all.

I think of a dear friend who I have not met in person, yet we have shared intimate thoughts and feelings through very lengthy emails. I cherish her words in each email and look forward to the day when we will meet. Will we still have this innate ability to be as open with each other in person or will there be those uncomfortable moments. I hope not ~ I have most definitely grown through the years to love this person.

What are your friendships like?

What are your thoughts on these feelings that haunt my thoughts as I try to understand these dynamics?

I would be interested in knowing how you view your friendships and if you experience these same issues that I have raised here.