Wow - Half of One Century

A friend of ours just turned "50".

What a terrific age to be. There is something about this magic number that brings a calm realization into life, a new respect and understanding for yourself.

So many people say they have a hard time with fifty, but I found that thirty was my big upset. Forty and fifty - not even a blip on the radar.

So here's to a Happy Birthday and another "50".

We heard you turned “50”
Now that’s a great age
Wise, discerning, judicious & sage.

Now parts will start hurting
The plumbing might freeze
And arthritis will make your poor old joints seize.

Your teeth will get weaker
They might soak in a cup
Dentyne & Polident – you’d better stock up.

Flatulence & gas will become an old friend
You’ll burp and you’ll fart
Will this ever end?

Digestion problems & acid reflux
Better watch what you eat
You’ll need fibre and veggies and lots of whole wheat.

No more tight jeans
They hurt on the tum’
A bigger size and a little looser
To cover that sagging bum.

Now you’ll need bifocals
Can’t read any more
You could see all the words and letters before.

Your forehead’s getting taller
What – no it can’t be
Your hair used to be thick, lustrous & bushy.

Can't walk for an hour
Without getting sore feet
Ten years ago you ran like an athlete.

The doctor says your blood sugar’s too high
Watch your diet he says
Cut out sugary foods like bread, cake & pie.

That “middle-age-spread”
Is taking over your waist
Can’t see your toes – have they been misplaced?

Here’s to the next fifty
You now know who you are
Time to trade in that blue truck
And get a Jaguar!

Happy Birthday Rob