I feel an attitude of gratitude today that I am able to be in a supportive role for my mother.
She is eating less and seems to be getting more depressed. I hope that the leadup to this week - the first Christmas without my dad - is the main reason.
Unfortunately we find that her sadness translates to her becoming very tense which shows in both her face and body language. This in turn translates to tension between the three of us, we share the tension and then pass it back and forth. This makes for very uncomfortable living conditions. Sometimes the tension is so thick I feel I could chew through it.
She is eating less and seems to be getting more depressed. I hope that the leadup to this week - the first Christmas without my dad - is the main reason.
Unfortunately we find that her sadness translates to her becoming very tense which shows in both her face and body language. This in turn translates to tension between the three of us, we share the tension and then pass it back and forth. This makes for very uncomfortable living conditions. Sometimes the tension is so thick I feel I could chew through it.
Last night I decided to re-read "The Four Agrements" paying extra special attention to the second and third agreement.
1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
2. Do Not Take Anything Personnally
3. Do Not Make Assumptions.
4. Always Do Your Best
So today I am grateful that I am here and able to support my mother through this very difficult time in her life and remind myself when I feel impatient or resentful just how enormous the loss is that she has suffered.
So today I am grateful that I am here and able to support my mother through this very difficult time in her life and remind myself when I feel impatient or resentful just how enormous the loss is that she has suffered.
6 comments:
I think this is a very good idea. The second agreement is the hardest for me.
I'm thinking of you Barb. It will be the second Christmas for us without mom (and the first without Midas) and I know it is really difficult. After my dad died mom lived in Kelowna all by herself for a year and I'm not sure how she could even function. Your mom is so blessed to have you. The Four Agreements is a great inspiration for difficult times.
I can only imagine what it must be like for her. Thank God she has you, and with love and patience, it will be a smile that comes to her face (and yours in this situation) more often than not!
such kind thoughts...i hope the warmth of the christmas season will and having family around will give her a strength she must feel waning...and that the tension will ease.
xoxox,
/julie
(You don't have to publish this) but I notice you did not publish my comment from yesterday. I hope I didn't inadvertently offend, somehow.
L, I didn't get your first comment in my email, just happened to see today that I had unmoderated comments. I don't know why but, sometimes this happenes. It's here now. Merry Christmas to you and darling Malia. Barb xo
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