Still Here

I don't have much to say lately and find that I'm not feeling very bloggy.

Although I have determined to make this the year of "Barb", I continually turn around and find the same old issues biting me on the ass yet again. Why can I not just move forward and accept the things that I cannot change. I still exercise gratitude on a daily basis, but those nagging old issues creep in and infiltrate my mind wiping away all the good I have spent my time working on.

Recently a comment was made to my daughter that "this family is f---ed up". The only thought that comes to me on this comment is ~ what family? I have never witnessed such a lack of love as is evidenced in this family. Very few phone calls made to inquire about the well being of my mother ~ no calls to see if we could use a break. I never imagine caregiving for an aging parent would be so taxing. However, that is not what this post is about.

I just thought to check in and let you know why I don't seem to be doing much blogging lately. It seems that I have lost interest in most of the things that have always brought me so much joy in the past ~ my crafting ~ reading ~ my home ~ the blogs that I have followed so faithfully ~ writing. Other than my grand babies ~ it feels like someone has sucked the joy out of my life. Sleep has become quite elusive and I struggle with a good nights sleep waking usually around 3-4:00am and then staying awake the rest of the night. As well the surgery in June is weighing heavily on my mind. Although not continually experiencing the discomfort from a gall bladder that is non-functioning and causing biliary colic is a positive aspect to the surgery.

Then just to add insult to injury ~ I recently discovered that my engagement ring was missing. This has been a particularly heartbreaking episode to deal with, as when Don and I got married we put all our funds into buying our home, so there was no traditional engagement ring. Then after paying off our mortgage, he surprised me with a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas ten years ago. I remember it so clearly. He put it on the finger of a stuffed animal ~ our son-in-law was so excited and told Don to get on his knees and ask me to marry him.

It's funny, but I still keep feeling like it will show up. Then I wonder "Is it my resident prankster up to no good yet again? Remember all the strange occurrences I talked about in this post. Well strange things continue to happen around here.

A lovely old handmade satin wrap that my mother had since she was a girl and kept her mothers handkerchiefs in disappeared, however the hankies are still here. She had two links taken out of the bracelet on her watch and kept them in a small ziploc bag. The other day she went to look for them and they were nowhere to be found.

I am truly struggling with where my diamond ring may have gone to. I am very methodical about where I keep everything. In my home I always know where everything is kept ~ what cupboard ... what shelf ... even keep my clothing hung by colour. The same goes for my jewellery. I wear five rings whenever I go out ~ two pinkie rings, my wedding band, my engagement ring and an inherited diamond ring that belonged to my great aunt. I only wear them outside never at home, so they go on when I go out and come off the minute I come into my home. When I'm not wearing them they are in small dish in my kitchen. One day the rings were worn and the next morning when I went to put them on to go out, my engagement ring was gone.

I really wish whoever or whatever is pranking me would stop. This isn't amusing anymore.

Now on to a couple of knitting projects that I have completed from the "Debbie Bliss" spring & summer knitting book.

This lovely blanket is so soft and just the right weight for this transition time between winter and spring. I too knit it pure white.

I can't share the second project because it is a birthday present and I don't want the birthday girl to see it, but it too is soft and the perfect weight for a cool summer evening.

Hope she likes it!

We had fun on Good Friday deciding to do some gardening. We planted five cedar trees to provide a little bit of privacy from the ravine behind. Just when we were getting started, we had a surprise visit from our daughter and her family. Of course the boys wanted to help Poppa dig the holes, but once they got started, Ryan (our oldest grandson), sat on the ground and rescued all the worms that were turning up in the soil. It was a touching scene watching him pull out all these worms and gently placing them in another spot.

Then on Saturday we drove out to watch Zander (our youngest grandson) in his first gymnastics sessions. His enthusiasm and sheer joy was such fun to watch. Zander attacks everything with such energy and gives 200%. Then Sebrina cooked a wonderful Easter dinner ~ turkey, ham, fennel, asparagus, mashed potatoes, stuffing ~ delicious!

We took some Easter chocolate and gifts for the kids. Of course they knew that Easter was the next day so wondered how we were able to get early chocolate from the easter bunny. I told them I emailed and asked him to specially bring it early to our house for them. They were quite happy with that answer.

I just love treasuring this secret and hope that they believe all these wonderful childish ideals for many years to come.,

Happy East Monday and I hope you all had a wonderful weekend too.